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Jack Handey

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

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The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

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A quiz If I am my brother's keeper, who am I (Answer me.)

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Sometimes I think the so-called experts actually ARE experts.

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Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows but without that noise.

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The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did Good for him

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Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.

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Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me

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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

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Let's be honest Isn't a lot of what we call tap dancing really just nerves

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