Who I am!
I climb rocks out of anger,
sit at the top just to feel the wind.
Dive off boats,
just to get to that cliff.
I jump without fear,
I fly with a smile.
I grab everything I want,
I will beat you if you
taunt.
I'm not afraid of life,
I'm not afraid of death..
The only thing that scares me,
is myself.
I look in the mirror,
disgusted.
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I'm Calling Bullshit!
With my life,
hard blows....
time to go home?
no one really knows...
Back in my youth,
where I thought I've grown.
Same place,
my childhood home.
After two years of figuring it out,
this town is not what i'm all about.
A picture perfect vacation it may seem,
nothing of what I dream.
I want more than how I look naked,
I want more than...
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My fault
I'm not sure what has changed me,
but I have.....
Ideas that have been set into my soul,
no longer grow.
I don't care if my house is clean,
I don't care if its someone to please,
I'm not mean, Life to me, a tease.
The importance I place,
living a life of no disgrace.
No material thing can make me happy,
what I really want is sappy.
Take me to a place full of nature,
show me things I've never seen,
can I do this...if all I do is clean?
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Tricked Again
The minute I met you,
your soul went through me,
Caged inside,
not free.
With sweet words,
emotional pleas...
I gave you the key.
You knew everything that I needed,
I begged inside,
even pleaded...
don't let your guard down,
you know this town....
Your touch,
and kiss....
My loneliness...
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Bartender vs. Babble
I've taken a job,
to be more social....
A rustic bar,
filled with locals...
People I haven't seen in twenty plus years,
old bartender jokes,
alot of marriage proposals,
my favorite.....
the ones with tears in their beers.
Old Joe is doing this,
Patty doing that.....
Wow....Gary....he's gotten so fat.
A high school buddy comes into my bar,
a wife half his age stops
to find out how we are....
She babbles and babbles about the good life they have...
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You left your skeletons.....
Our eyes met with beautiful love.....
I knew you were mine....sent from above.
We worked together like perfect souls...
I never looked past as happiness grows,
Things got harder with each child.
Your eyes....they started turning wild.
Too much? ? ?
Too hard? ? ?
Your mother and I talked today....
your other families would like to meet
our kids....someday
People I don't even know...
want the pieces of me you left on the floor.
Your son cries,
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Killing Myself....
So many people in my life have died,
they have taken their own lives...we cried.
I stumble around in my mind,
depth...
I'm trying to find.
So many things to be overcame,
no..not me to blame.
To find the depth of what people think,
to let my heart,
sink......
I know that people will suffer if I die,
all I can do is cry.....
but when life is put in my face,
even though...
a disgrace..
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Church Pews
As we pull to park the car.....
alone
it's my
deepest scar.
We lock things up,
grab hands,
heading off
to face our truths.
Big kisses,
hopeful wishes,
and suddenly I'm by myself.
Shake hands with strangers,
smile,
and scoot.......
Adjusted comfortably
in my pew.
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Unfiltered Rage
Over and over I tell myself to stop ruminating....
I work and work to start each day new.
I feel the feelings that I have for you,
I'm supposed to suffer through...
healing...
from me and you.
Its funny I laughed so hard today,
finally felt...
I'll be okay!
Along came a spider,
with lies deep inside her....
filling my head
with things you said.
One of your collectibles that I'm sure....
filling with rage...
for now...
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Darkest Hour
I have trained everyone in my life,
to hear the stories of being a wife.....
Happiness is fleeting mist,
wiggles in,
then drifts.
I've come to realize,
just this.....
each moment,
each memory,
each lie,
each touch,
each deception,
each battle,
each scar,
each game,
each.......
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