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Irvin S. Cobb

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

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Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

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As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

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I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

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If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.

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A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

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An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

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A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

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A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

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