Road Jerks

It's funny
how those whose
lives are going
nowhere
are in such
a whopping, big
hurry to
get there.

poem by Hm. Nes
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Fair Weather Friends

Fair weather friends
I like the most
Because I like fair weather.
Besides,
Friends who gather
Only in storms
Neglect me when life's better.

poem by Hm. Nes
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It's A School Day

Welcome home, kids!
How was school?
Now get to work.
You know the rule:
No games, no shows
Till the homework's done.
First do your chores,
Then have some fun.
O my, it's late!
No time to play.
Be off to bed, 'cause
It's a school day.

poem by Hm. Nes
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No More Gay

I don't need words as much as words need me,
For I may live in silence; not so words,
Which cannot survive in obscurity.

And oft words lose their true identity
From ill-use of vulgar mouths; blessed words-
Destroyed, defaced, banished to infamy.

O that good men could once again be gay,
Without all the confusion; splendid word
That now must die of neglect- no more gay.

poem by Hm. Nes
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Roger Renfroe-Jones Kincaid

The meanest boy in all fourth grade
Is Roger Renfroe-Jones Kincaid.
He's meaner than a junkyard dog.
He's meaner than my sister's frog.
My sister's frog ate my friend, Brown,
When all Brown did was fly around,
And land on top the frog's dumb head.
Brown licked his wings and 'THWACK! ' was dead.
My sister calls her frog Boo Bear;
Though he's a frog and not a bear.
But bears get mean when they're afraid,
Like Roger Renfroe-Jones Kincaid.

poem by Hm. Nes
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The South Fork Boys and Their Dam

The boys of South Fork Country Club
Raise glasses to their health
And laud the speech of Carnegie,
His grand gospel of wealth.

Then breaks the dam and floods the homes
Of Johnstown's humbler ranks.
Two thousand and two hundred nine
Lie dead upon the banks.

The South Fork Fishing-Hunting Club,
A guilty brood of rooks,
Hear solace from ole Carnegie,
The patron saint of books:

'Our dam is breached, but who dares blame
'The fishing-hunting guild?
'Two thousand and FIVE hundred nine
'Libraries we shall build! '

poem by Hm. Nes
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When the Kings Went to War

When the kings went to war
Went to war
Went to war
When the kings went to war
I stayed home.

Now the kings have returned
Some have died
Most alive
Now the kings have returned
And I'm alone.

Who to tell
How to say
All that happened in the days
When the kings went to war
While I stayed home.

Oh the battles
Oh the hell

[...] Read more

poem by Hm. Nes
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O Stubborn Leaf

Alone, suspended high above the ground,
On barren limb, defying season’s change-
O stubborn leaf! Was I to winter bound,
Was I a hapless slave to winter’s rage,
I’d set aside this ghastly rake,
Climb your bough and give it a shake,
Bring you down to where broken leaves are found.

But in my heart I share your stubborn hold,
Resisting winter’s scourge upon the trees.
I cherish fall, the brilliant days of gold
And red, such colors dancing in the leaves,
Not fading brown from winter's freeze,
Falling, rotting, filling the eaves,
Till every trace is buried in the cold.

poem by Hm. Nes
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Two Soldiers, Two Sisters Each

So proud we stood,
My sister, Marge, and me-
Our brother, Bruce,
As he was meant to be-
And who'd of thought?
Our country 'tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee we sing, and send
Our brother, Bruce.

While over there,
Somewhere across the sea,
Two other fools,
With brother proud to be-
And he so brave,
To save his family
And keep his country free-
His death for liberty-
Wears soldier clothes.

[...] Read more

poem by Hm. Nes
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The Problem With Soccer (World Cup 2010)

The problem with soccer is there are no time outs.
When my two-year-old pitches a fit,
throwing himself on the ground,
screaming and flailing all around,
He gets a time out.
When he tattles on his sister for doing something He did,
He gets a time out.
When he kicks his sister because: “She kicked me first! ”
and then refuses to shake and make up,
He gets a time out.
When he cheats,
He gets a time out.
When he pouts,
He gets a time out.
When he won’t do his chores because he’s upset,
He gets a time out.
And sometimes, when he’s really bad, he gets spanked;
But getting spanked doesn't always seem to help.
(Ask the French.)

poem by Hm. Nes
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