Whenever the pain becomes too much, I saddle my horse and disappear in the forest... silent as desire, silent as myself. For I am not the cheerful gentleman with whom you are acquainted. Within this body is imprisoned a soul like a half-starved tiger in an iron cage, bellowing out its dreadful passins. All men seem mean and pretty to me, ingloriously lewd, travelling salesmen with their second-rate eroticism!
You have to realise that I am not a remarkable person at all, but incomprehensible even to myself. While in the cradle I was showered with gifts from many beautiful people who acted as fairies having been invited by my mother to bestow a multitude of different talents upon her son. But the forgotten fairy, the terrible twisted and bandy legged one that is always left out appeared as well. Leaning over my cot, she said I cannot take away the gifts you have just received from these ladies, but I can give you one of my own. Your whole life long, you will never do that which you like best!