There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!