Mary Had A Little Frog
Mary had a little frog
And it was water-soaked,
But Mary did not keep it long
Because, of course, it croaked!
The deer's a mighty useful beast
From Petersburg to Tennyson
For while he lives he lopes around
And when he's dead he's venison.
Dogs is mighty useful beasts
They might seem bad at first
They might seem worser right along
But when they're dead
I have no heart to write verses to May;
I have no heart—yet I’m cheerful today;
I have no heart—she has won mine away
So—I have no heart to write verses to May.
A Scotchman Whose Name Was Isbister
A Scotchman whose name was Isbister
Had a maiden giraffe he called 'sister'
When she said 'Oh, be mine,
Be my sweet Valentine!'
He just shinned up her long neck and kissed her.
How'd You Like It?
Well, then! How'd you like to bear the name of Butler
As an honor badge eight centuries at least,
And then have the Prohibitionists inform you
That a butler is a sort of outlawed beast?
Valentine To The Girl In Black
In hand I take this pen of mine
To write you, sweet, a valentine;
I’d take your dainty hand instead,
But—you’re a drawing—I am wed—
And that is why, you understand,
I only take my pen in hand.
When with me the play she goes,
I much admire the buds and bows
And all that on Kate’s headgear grows.
But when some other night I see
That hat between the stage and me,
My taste and Kate’s do not agree.
I bowed my head in anguish sore
When Life made Death his bride;
'Soul, we are lost forever more!'
Unto my soul I cried.
'Nay, waste in wailing not thy breath,'
My soul replied to me,
'Behold! The child of Life and Death
To Phyllis And May
O! fair, sweet Phyllis and sweet, fair May,
Which of you carried my heart away?
Who has my heart? I would like to know
Which was the guilty one of the two,
But I only know it was filched one day
By fair, sweet Phyllis, or sweet, fair May.