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Denis Norden

Everyone who appears in a scene gets paid.

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Frank liked administrative work and was good at it.

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I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.

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If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.

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Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh.

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There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

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I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

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And if you can offer an explanation as to why it doesn't work then you've got to the whole root of comedy.

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It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

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And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

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