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Caroline Weeks

For You On Your Birthday

It’s March the second——
somehow again it has come.
Outside the weary sky yawns light
and I am feeling numb.
I should be calling you right now
on a tired telephone;
but I cannot bring myself to
pretend you will not condone.
Sitting silent in silent shadows
hugging my knees up close to me and deciding,
deciding.
It’s all about the decisions with you,
it’s all about the derisions with you.
I can’t say I don’t know this day,
I am the sun without the shine, dull
and unending,
my body here and now and frozen with
my heart trapped in time.
My breath trapped, locked
in my lungs.

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