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Carl Reiner

I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.

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The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

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It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.

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If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.

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A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

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Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.

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Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

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Every morning I pick up my newspaper, get the obituary section, see if I'm listed, and if not, I have my breakfast.

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A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

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I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed.

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