The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
quote by Billy Connolly
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
quote by Billy Connolly
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
quote by Billy Connolly
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
quote by Billy Connolly
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
quote by Billy Connolly
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
quote by Billy Connolly
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I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.
quote by Billy Connolly
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I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
quote by Billy Connolly
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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
quote by Billy Connolly
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
quote by Billy Connolly
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