There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

quote by Billy Connolly
Added by Lucian Velea
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

quote by Billy Connolly
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Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

quote by Billy Connolly
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

quote by Billy Connolly
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

quote by Billy Connolly
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

quote by Billy Connolly
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

quote by Billy Connolly
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Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

quote by Billy Connolly
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I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

quote by Billy Connolly
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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

quote by Billy Connolly
Added by Veronica Serbanoiu
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