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Azul Noir

Nothing More to Smile

I'm sick of needing nothing more to smile
I'm sick of friends who just won't let me fall
I'm sick of sunshine without clouds
And rainbows ten times in every mile

I want a darkness that can hide me
I want the space to fall
I want to cry without the comfort
I want no answer when I call

I live in a hidden hell of money
With the pretense of perfection
A poor house can be broken
But I'm stuck living in a misted
dream of fake affection

Someone once said they'd kill to have my life
Well kill me and it's all yours
I'm sick of needing nothing more to smile
And rainbows ten times in every mile

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Home On a Hill

I travel towards a house that's not a home
My home is on a hill burnt down
Burnt by the love of money and fame
Burning before we crashed
Half dead before we died

He dragged us along to leave us behind
He followed his idols of money and fame
He took us from Olympus to none
We had beaten the horizon
But he turned us away from the sun

My home on a hill was a happy home
My home till he burnt it down
I waved through the window
Said goodbye with a frown
And was told that the new house was better

These bricks and others can be what they want
Maybe the worst would be better

[...] Read more

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Vestigial Hope

I am hesitant to go too far too fast
To repeat not only the good, but the failures of the past
I struggle to find words to describe, not only the love I have,
but also the surreptitious fear that I hide

I fear your dulcet words come too easily
I fear your heart speaks in the absence of context
in the candor of only the moment
so I love with forbearance instead of
a love that comes gushing from me

I fear my heart is too broken to trust you implicitly
I fear that I fear unrest less than stability;
that I evoke trouble and harbor misfortune
I fear that we started this romance too late,
but that we had loved each other too soon

I fear that I will love you just to lose you again
and thereby lose my worth which rests on you now
I fear my need is more than you should care to shoulder

[...] Read more

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