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Anuj Tikku

Pork Chops are Fun

chop chop chop the pork squeals over dinner
with it's fatty bits and tasty bites
it marinates on a stick over hot coal
who will taste it first who will finish the bowl
Wow Pork Chops with red wine
then dinner will be divine

chop chop chop the pork is done
with ginger, wine and lots of fun
it's time to have with a salty bun
chop chop chop see it go in the oven my friends
it's dinner time lets eat it all
then lets sit together and have a ball

chop chop chop the pork tastes good
with the meat so tender it bloody weel should
sometimes on the pan sometimes as a roast
call your freinds for dinner it's a dish one can boast

chop chop chop the pork is done

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Property O My Property

property o my property
i use to be a man fine and witty
no cares in the world full of terimity
untill the heavens fell off my dad was murdered
and i was stranded with his property

property o my property
three flats into one, office, home and land what fun
rentals 6% home appreciation by 10%
money in black some in white
o my friends try and understand my plight

property o my property
some say it's worth 50 crs some say it's less
i use to be a free bird before
god knows how i landed up in this mess
brokers, dalla's, buyers and sellers
i have two houses still i am a lonely dweller

property o my property

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The Bum

The Bum
with his sliterry walk and purposeless talk their goes the bum
bitting through street lights meandering through the hum drum
the bum has no direction the bum has no way
he has so many things bottled inside yet he cannot say
he sleeps all day only then to stay awake
lighting up a few joints for plaesure sake
yes sir their goes the bum

he buys some he sells some makes money once ina while
he has no watch to tell him he is justt whiling away time
his pockets are empty and he does'nt have a dime
he rolls weed burns some seeds
inhaling puffing away in dirty ally's and back yards
dining with hookers and some old tarts
he pimps away his life to idel banter and gossip at tea shops
his manner is mean his walk ungaily
he had nowhere to go no agenda's he keeps
only at times on his purposelessness he weeps

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The DirtyWhore

The Dirty Whore
Whore whore whore the dirty little whore
With her heavy hips and juicy lips
She is bound by her pimp who gives her, her daily dose
Crack Coke heroine or lsd
In them she her emotions pores
Whore whore whore the dirty little whore
As she tickles your dick and gives you new kicks
Biting down your balls to take it all
She massages your chest as she bears her breasts
Coming close yet staying a far
As her panties she removes to make new moves
Saddeling up your prick up and down she rolls
Whore whore whore the dirty little whore
Her job is tough her beat is rough
Pimps and pushers her companions at night
She dines with gangsters and cops alike
Getting paid well and getting beaten at times
Taking pills to giving new thrills
Whore whore whore the dirty little whore

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Cheers my friends for single malt

Cheers my friends to single malt
1
It's color is amber it's taste like honey dew
Unpack the cartoon that's brand knew
Feel the bottle nice and rounded
Smell the fragrance of Niagra falls
Cheers my friends to single malt
2
It goes down the throat so very smooth
Crackling over ice like some diwali cracker
Let it simmer and breath for a while
Then sip it slowly with a smile
Don't stop gulp it down without a halt
Cheers my friends to single malt
3
It slowly takes you in it's vice like grip
As one swallows it bit by bit
Swirling away on the tounge
As it gurgel's through down my throat
Tasting better then a million vodka shots

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Committed

committed! !
me and my boyfriend have made a pact
we are committed and thats the fact
he will not screw any other women apart from me
and i will not seduce anyone else apart from him

committed! !
we will be a heathy twosome or so it seems
with this thought in our mind our relationship will gleam
yes sir we are a committed bunch
the world will sing praises of our relationship
the world will stand and admire our friendship

committed! !
he will screw me till his hearts content
as i behind his back will screw all his friends
he on the other hand will bang all my friends
yes sir we are a committed and our relationship is as firm as steel

committed! ! !

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Aauch the casting couch!

1
auuchh! the casting couch
on this couch the industry girls will slouch
ahh! to get work no doubt you will have to get on the couch
the industry girls they will weep
to get a role they will have to sleep

2
auuchh! the casting couch
this is a fact have no doubt
if you want to make it in this industry you will have to slouch on the couch
sona tho padey ga
tabhi ja kar tho tu hiroine banney ga
pehele tu director ki sunney ga tabh ja kar tu kuchh banney ga

3
auuchh! the casting couch
this is the way this industry functions
sonney key bina yanha kuch nahi hota
par soo kar bhi yanhan kabhi kabhi kuch nahi hota

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The Hum Drum Of Platinum

The hum drum of platinum
friends from a far friends from yesterday and tommorrow
all join hands to share their truth, joy and sorrow
meeting each other in the same school
from places far and wide they came to join this pool

The hum drum of platinum
the wine follows like the river here
friends and foes joined hands with out fear
krishna, ganga, cauvery, jamuna all join this muighty sea
all joining hands together like a big family

The Hum Drum of Platinum
with golf and cricket to match any wicket'
with plays and dinners all glore
we all celebrated with russian whores
a sea of ex welhamites decending on Doon
oh my friends it was a wonderful boon

The Hum Drum Of Platinum

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Meet My Mummy

as the thought gurgul's in my tummy
it's time for me to introduce you to my mummy
we have played the dating game
flowers, choclates and lot's of champange

meet my mummy
we have walked on the sea coast
to our health we have raised many toast's
but a peek on the cheek is all i have recived
i have tried all my idel bantter
but i know you won't give it to me till i make you meet my mummy

meet my mummy
she is a cute old dame
i have used her in many of my love games
when i am unsure that you will sleep with me
i know it's time for me to take you to mummy

meet my mummy
because mummy will reassure you

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Hell! I am going to take you to the police

1
oh boy! you have done it again
my repeated warning's have all gone in vain
i am sick of you showing me your pain
you will not listen that's for sure
you will keep coming towards me as if i were your's
that's it i have had enough
it's time for me to play it rough
hell it's time for me to take you to the police
as that's the only way for me to get some peace

2
if you put anything about me on the net
it's prision time for you, you bet
have a coffee with you huuh! you must be kidding
what do you think i am your love pudding
get out of my office or i will call security
next time my dear i will show no pity
this time i have let you off
but next time in the celler you will cough

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