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Andy Rooney

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

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