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Andrew A. Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

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If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

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The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.

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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

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