Gazing suicides

I thought of dying today
Gazing down to the train track below
So shiny and black.

I heard the tracks calling me to join them below.
I heard them say if you want to jump
Then jump go on just jump.

I though I'd chuck myself away
Thought I'd fall below
To the train tracks underneath.

I thought it through and through.
With nothing else left to do
I let the train tracks call me below.

I ve sufferd enough in this evil world
Theres to much evil that lurks.
The world is a sain place for some.
It wasnt for me

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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You Don't Have a Clue how I'm Going to Die

You don't know thisyet but you will soon.
Do you know, Please know this now.
Your duaghter is going to top herself tonight.
She dosen't want you tosave her this time.
But she wants you to know that she's sorry.
Sorry for all the pain she's cuased.
But her life she can no longer bear to live.

Her heart and minfd has spoken to her.
She knew the truth.
She knew she could never be free from her past.
She knew the hurt and pain would always be there.
She knew it was killing her inside.
She knew that she could not fight any more.
She allways knew she'd lose the fight.
And deep down she allways knew,
in her heart that it would come to this.
That it would come to her suiciide.

She just wants youtoknow these things.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Her final hour

You may no it.
Or you may not want to see.
But her final hour is near.
She'd been screaming for your help.
Asking for help for so long.
All her screaming fell upon deaf ears.

Within her final hour.
She belived she had no other choice.
But to go out of the world this way.
She just couldnt deal with one more day.

Her final hour now has come and gone.
Her family get that knock on the door.
Sorry but we've got bad news.
All they can do is scream why.
Why Amy why do it.

As they go to identify the body.
All they can do is hope and pray.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Understan me please

Please understand me.
You are one of the closest people to me in a way.
But for some reason you don't understand me.
It's almost as if you don't want to understand.
I'm just a target to shout at.
Just an idiot you don't really want to understand.
But I am your blood.

Why can't you at least try to understand?
It's not as if I enjoy attempting suicide all the time.
I don't care what you say it's not always my fualt.
The diagnosis I was given, you won't even take in to account.
I try to explain but you don't listen.
All you say is you know what you are doing.
Stop it you say, yeah becuase it's really that easy not.

I'm not getting any enjoyment out of this you know?
But I wish you wouldn't shout and curse.
You say you love me.
But how can you when you won't try to understand?

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Deep down in the darkness.

Way down deep deep in the darkness.
A broken soul does lie all alone.
Alone and near beaten.
She's is frightened and alone.
But tries to face the world alone.
But deep down in the darkness she cant make it on her own.
She is destined to be alone.

Deep down in the darkness she sits in her corner.
Her body covered in scars it's the only way for her to feel alive.
The cuts and scars they run so much deeper.
Deeper in to her broken fragile soul.
She has no goals.

Deep down in the darkness,
She knows she can not win this fight.
It's all been show to her.
Like a present of the future.
She can not win she can only lose.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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She killed herself today

She forever felt like she was dying.
The doctors kept on lying.
You will be fine.
Hoping their words would come true.
But for that girl sat in the chair.
She knew it would never come true.
She knew all to well life's unfair.
They all said she would be ok.
But that girl wasn't ok.
She took her life today.

Knowing he'd got away with rape.It was to much to take.
She wished she could remove the pent up pain like tape.
All along anger strayed her heart.
And thoughts and attempts of suicide strayed mind and soul.
But this time she knew what to do.
Take the tablets that destroy her stomach.
She was warned one more od could kill or couase serioud problems.
That girl listened and it hepled her through.
For the rape had destroyed her for the last time.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I can just picture you all sitting there 2

can just picture it in my head.
All of you sitting there.
My beloved family.

Asking yourselves why.
Why'd she do it
What possed her
But I think you no the answers.

I'd had a lot of abuse.
Memories dragging me down
Deppresion taking over.
Suicide reared its head.

Im sorry that i did this.
But really you'll forget me soon.
Be not sad and angry.
You never really understood me
Or my actions
So I doubt you'll understand this.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Saying goodbye

Sitting here thinking about you.
Remembering you as tears roll down my cheek.
I hear you call my name Amy Amy Amy.
Its almost as if your trying tom tell me something.
I glance around the room.
Seems Im the only one that heard.

I send my message back to you.
I miss you so very much.
I wish I could feel the saftey of your hold.
Only you have gone to a better place so I'm told.

I hear the voice only its louder.
Your telling me you can still see me.
Your still watching over me.
Only your protecting me from the skies above.
You say you never left me
You will live in my hart.
You say the time has come to stop grieving.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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When you get the knock at the door

When the knock on the door comes.
I wonder will you be prepared.
For the news that your about to recive.
Will you be prepared for what the officer is about to say.

Im sorry but I have bad news.
Your duaghter has been found dead.
It would appear shes taken her own life.
She was found an hour ago.
We need some one to identify her body.

The mother says no it cant be true.
But when she goes and sees its her.
All she can do is scream and cry.
There has to be a mistake.
Shes just sleeping.

But when she reaches out.
Her duaghter is cold and stiff.
She realises its true.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Scattered echoes

To my wonderfull family.
I so very sorry.
Yes I finaly done it.
I took my own life.
But my life was taken long ago.

I heard scattered echoes in the wind.
They told me to go back home.
I listened to the scattered echoes of the wind.
Becuase I'd had enough of pointless pain.

Yes you'll be angry.
I know you'll be sad.
I guess you'll grieve for a while
But soon you will see this was meant to be.
Things have worked out for the best.

In the scattered echoes of the wind.
If you listen carefully you'll hear my cries.
My cries to you on earth below.

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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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