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Allan Sherman

Our act started at the bottom and went downhill.

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I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.

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Well, you might as well imitate your own program because if you don't, someone else will.

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The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

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Somewhere, over the rainbow, Way up tall, There's a land where they've never heard of cholesterol.

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When the great history of trouble is written, my family will stand extremely high in the table of contents.

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I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy.

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Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

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In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.

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Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

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