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Allan Ahlberg

Please Mrs Butler

Please Mrs Butler
This boy Derek Drew
Keeps copying my work, Miss.
What shall I do?

Go and sit in the hall, dear.
Go and sit in the sink.
Take your books on the roof, my lamb.
Do whatever you think.

Please Mrs Butler
This boy Derek Drew
Keeps taking my rubber, Miss.
What shall I do?

Keep it in your hand, dear.
Hide it up your vest.
Swallow it if you like, love.
Do what you think best.

[...] Read more

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The Supply Teacher

Here's the rule for what to do
If ever your teacher has the flu
Or for some other reason takes to her bed
And a different teacher comes instead

When the visiting teacher hangs up her hat
Writes the date on the board, does this or that
Always remember, you have to say this,
OUR teacher never does that, Miss!

When you want to change places or wander about
Or feel like getting the guinea pig out
Never forget, the message is this,
OUR teacher always lets us, Miss!

Then, when your teacher returns next day
And complains about the paint or clay
Remember these words, you just say this:
That OTHER teacher told us to, Miss!

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It's a Puzzle

My friend
Is not my friend any more
She has secrets from me
And goes about with Tracy Hacket

I would get her back,
Only do not want to say so.
So I pretend
To have secrets from her
And go about with Alice Banks

But what bothers me is,
Maybe she is pretending
And would like me back
Only does not want to say so.

In which case
Maybe it bothers her
That I am pretending.
But if we are both pretending,

[...] Read more

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