I collect things that just look retarded.

quote by Ahmet Zappa
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I picked books by their covers - the worse the cover, the more I wanted to read it.

quote by Ahmet Zappa
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I had this whole ritual with my mother making the bed with me inside it so I would be invisible.

quote by Ahmet Zappa
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When we had to do book reports, I would pick a book that no one read and just make it up and turn that in. I got praised for my imagination.

quote by Ahmet Zappa
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The way this whole novel thing came together was, I sold them one bill of goods and then didn't communicate very well. I am like Captain Run-on Sentence.

quote by Ahmet Zappa
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I miss my Dad. My Dad loved cheesy monster movies, so we'd have Godzilla movie marathons. Those are some of my favorite memories, laughing at how the monster outfits were so bad, like black garbage bags for heads.

quote by Ahmet Zappa
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