The Dilbert Principle The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage--Management.
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Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
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You don't have to be a ""person of influence"" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
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I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
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Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.
Scott Adams in The Dilbert Future
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There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as a complete waste of time.
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