Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

quote by Woody Allen
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

quote by Woody Allen
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.

quote by Woody Allen
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

quote by Woody Allen
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To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

quote by Woody Allen
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

quote by Woody Allen
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

quote by Woody Allen
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

quote by Woody Allen
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

quote by Woody Allen
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

quote by Woody Allen
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