That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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Men want the same thing from women and their underwear: support, comfort, and freedom.

Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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Men want the same thing from women that they want from their underwear... a little support, comfort, and freedom.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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