I Dare You

I wasn't surprised
when you cast me adrift into the gulf stream to float there all alone
with nothing but the memory of having been discarded
like some five year old piece of flotsam that washed offshore
inciting the fervor that I needed to swim back home
I'm fairly convinced that's all I was to you
plastic and durable debris that sticks around longer than it should
eventually smelling like dead fish stinking
a half a mile away in each direction
appalling everyone that has the misfortune to find it
Love, I kept looking for a lifeline
None came
But I've got news for you
I have the strength of ten men
I did the backstroke unafraid of what lied beneath the inky depth that threatened my survival
See,
I'm use to being at sea and have been tried before
I always come out laughing back at it's angry face
knowing that it was all a challenging test that brought out
the best in me

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poem by Sara Fielder
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Im Not Sure Why It Took So Long

I'm not sure why it took so long
Making up my silly mind
To take that one step forward
And leave loneliness behind

I thought that it meant weakness
And I thought it'd take away
My hard won independence
Throw me in the "human" fray

I'm not sure why it took so long
For me to finally leave
The only thing I'd ever known
The sea, my boat, and me

But I suppose that I was stubborn
Vain with pride mixed in there too
And I never wanted you to think
That I was just like you

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poem by Sara Fielder
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Walking on Land

Who she was exists no more
Moved ahead and closed the door
But neer shall she forget those days
They haunt and linger, hardly stray

She was a lassie who from birth
Cherished the sea with joy and mirth
Treasuring it's beauty above all else
All of it's water, sand and shells

Out of the channel she'd sail her rig
Her heartbeat dancing a little jig
The ocean her lover and she it's bride
She'd plow it's depths so blue and wide

At home on her ship she'd search for air
Driving it outward as hard as she dared
Her happiness growing with every mile
Never a sorrow, only a smile

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poem by Sara Fielder
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Black Widow

Ignore the lock
slip through the bars
and come right in
Mind your step the path is steep
to taste the puddles of my grief
and see the sticky blood wet sheets
that lie upon my cold dead bed
There is a price
I govern here and am not nice
to men who play like they pretend
to love me in my darkened den
But, stay as long as you would like
to watch me with my slicing knife
and we will sit in silence
delicately savoring
hearts and livers, crisp white wine,
and frosted kisses
After you have had your fun
and morning blaze
we both have shunned

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poem by Sara Fielder
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She'd Lie

She'd lie
Without cause or reason
Don't ask me why
Every chance she got she'd lie
It was pitiful really
A small exaggeration first
Only to be magnified
And wound into an elegant fraud
To be like Them
I wouldn't get mad
I was simply bewildered
They say to tell the truth is easier
But too ordinary for her I suppose
Not grand enough and so
The People wore clothes by Ralph Lauren
And all of their children went to Penn
And she'd rubbed elbows
With Who, What, Where, and When
Some names were dropped to emphasis this point
So that you'd know she was the square peg

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poem by Sara Fielder
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The Rendezvous

The lines of her dress were classic
She was curvy and tall and thin
She’d blood red shiny fingernails
Estee Lauder was under her chin

It was dark in the room when she entered
Except for a candle and chair
And a man with a handful of flowers
Expectantly waiting there

He wanted to be romantic
He wanted to be interesting
But she knew what he really was there for
In spite of the left handed ring

Yet she let down her hair with a flourish
Even though he had lied like a bum
She had lied to herself and she knew it
Cross the hundreds of miles she had come

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poem by Sara Fielder
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Gary The Nudibranch

Gary was a nudibranch
The apple of my eye
I bought him at the Reef Shop
For nineteen ninety five
I loved my little flatworm
He was slimy
He was blue
He'd speak to me of dreams he had
And where they'd lead him to
I told him not to worry
Or think about those things
I'd bought another nudibranch
That waited in the wings
But Gary wasn't interested
He'd better things to do
Than making baby nudibranchs
With thirty gallon views
He held me in his confidence
One dark and stormy night
When the filament of halogen

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poem by Sara Fielder
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High School Sweetheart

I surprised myself by googling his name
What a shame I thought,
what a shame
Life was bliss and why would I?
What did I have to gain?
I had no reason at all to be interested
in where he was
or how his life had turned out
But wonder got the better me
So there I was and suddenly
There he was.
The letters of his name sitting side by side
as if he had been there all along
And they laughed at me
This is no small miracle
It's heaven sent
A foolish lie I told myself
before I went to bed
So I lay there
starting to remember the outline of his face

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poem by Sara Fielder
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Behind the Bronze Door

When we were negative three or four
we'd play back behind the heavy bronze door
in white linen dresses and silver shoes
our eyes swirled infinity in blue-green hues
Sunbeams shot out through our skin
while harp and lute softened the din
and there was no such thing as pain
and dreams stayed watered by invisible rain
You'd lead me by your slender hand
to the lake of life with it's daffodil sand
saying 'Stay awhile and if you please,
we'll share ladyfingers and cucumber tea'
Then down to the water with me in tow
to the middle of the lake we'd row and row
where imaginary things chased our innocence
through thick green fog and wispy mists
And frightened I would want to leave
tugging at your pure white linen sleeve
to abandon fate as worry and fear
made me think that 'they' were drawing near

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poem by Sara Fielder
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Piper's First Bath

I saw you in dream-filled sleep
I could see behind your eyes the golden haze of heaven
Unfolding into a room paved with diamonds
Sparkling so brightly they almost burned your skin
The angel beckoned you to come a calling
To their Wisdom Room
“Fare thee well Piper. Stand strong.
Be as brave as ten men when life gives you a black eye
Until we meet again…”
Piper smiled at the angels
She had known them ten thousand ten thousand years
Even though she had left home
She knew her Earth mother loved her
As powerfully as God himself
I saw her smile behind the veil that separated us from
The Wisdom Room
And the room where I was rocking her
Her father had painted a wise old owl on the wall
Signifying her future
Signifying her destiny for all divine goodness

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poem by Sara Fielder
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