Hungry

We stumbled and found each other, hungry
Ravenous for what we'd been denied
Each, too scared of life to live it
Both afraid to 'own' such secret desires

Swooping in, you consumed me, and I you
Unrelenting in our quest to feel and be filled
We pick, pick, picked, until we broke the skin
Leaving us ruined, our souls cold and raw

And though we gorged as if our last meal
There was no substance and we were not appeased
Our yearning grew as our passions waned
And in the absence, our wounds flourished

We raged on, each wielding a sword of silence
Driven on in a fury of self-preservation
Until we were broken and bleeding
Yet hungry still, unsatisfied…

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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Walk On By

Date: November 11,2011

Something made me turn my head
I looked for me, it’s you instead
I’m stepping out to shed the pain
I’m trying to find myself again

No one can do it, no one but me
One day at a time, until I am free
Untie the strings, unchain my heart
Snuff the fire that haunts the dark

Hold me close, it’s never you
Too busy painting shades of blue
Singing songs to lure your prey
Submission but a breath away

Whispered promises, burn like fire
Who’s the cheat and who’s the liar
White knuckled grip holding tight

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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Stay Here Forever

Stay Here Forever
Date: November 18,2012

I will remember you in soft pink dreams
Savoring you like honey; sweet, warm flavors on my tongue
And I'll taste the fullness of your fiery lips melting on mine
To the depths of my soul, I'll thrill to the songs of your feathered touch
And with each midnight turning, I'll lay twisting, yearning
Trembling as you steal my breath to keep as your own

Never leave me, my love…to battle the nights alone
Never, ever cease to spread your wings
To shield me from life's cruel clutch
Live! Scream your songs forever into my consciousness, my memories
For if you fade, I will cease to breathe
If you turn your eyes away, my essence will fail to be

I will relive you in my heart, my darling, my dancing ember
As you rage in me, a sea of flame scorching my soul
So lustful is your whispered intent, my love, so wanton your hunger

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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Here's To Gracious Endings

You'll never hear the breaking heart
I'll never hold you to the sparks
A fire that only burns in me
Was simply one, that shouldn't be

You never promised me romance
I've always known your circumstance
But in my heart, you sparked a flame
That held me to a foolish game

So many years I've been denied
A simple truth that you disguise
I've asked you, time and time again
To let me go…or let me in

Don't tell me that you want me now
Don't try to claim you care
If there ever was a moment, babe
I've not found it anywhere

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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Burned Up, Burned Out, I've Let It Go

I know not what it means to be loved
But only to love in vain
I have not held the gentle grace of your words
Or tasted the fiery bloom of regard
You cast me into a cold prison of oppression
Offering only scrapes of charity, lukewarm sentiments
Mere lip service to fuel my heart when passion starts to wane
You are a cold and calculating master
The proverbial 'wolf in sheep's clothing'
Hiding your confessions deep in the recesses of my shame
You baited me with greedy hooks, tripped the snare
And I, fell victim to your frivolity
I believed myself strong enough…and you, man enough
To ride the insatiable waves of my desires
Still leaving fruit for tomorrow's gathering
But you could not give, the same passion that you received
Nor hold in reserve seeds for tomorrow
Instead you burned, and burned, and burned the candle
Flaming both ends, with a rampant wickedness until there was none…
I look upon the ashes with heavy heart

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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I Will Rise

I Will Rise / DRAFT
Date: June 27,2012

We have lost the warmth of flames
Stifled by the silence of our secrets
As quietly as we came to touch
We let go the hand that held us

No one knew the flutters of my heart
Or discerned the fever of my desires
Only for you, I spoke in whispers
Only for you, your secrets kept

But as the sun rose on our history
I was burned by the flames of disdain
And as I searched for you, spoke your name aloud
I was answered by the lips of a stranger

I stood brave as the sun melted away before my eyes
Numbing me in the heartbreak of resignation

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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There's No Fight Left

He is a decade long struggle with weakness
A chink in the armor, a stain on my soul
He carved out a hollow, in places sworn to secrecy
And filled it with aching desires

He came whispering into dreams, unexpected, unexplained
Invading…where he ought not to be
He barged in, cold steel polished…plans perfected
Chip, chip, chipping away, at the naked innocence of my regard

He is my disease, a cruel cold sickness…a private shame
The incurable scourge, aimed like a heat seeking missile
He is a poisonous arrow, launched and bearing down
Piercing my heart, when no one’s around

He slathers on honey, sweeter than sunshine
To color the taste, disguising the waste, of the drug that he’s pushing
He’s a shot of confusion, a predatory illusion
Leading me astray, till all is lost and I can’t find my way

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poem by Leria Hawkins (1 February 2012)
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Some Spit, Some Swallow

Some Spit, Some Swallow
Date: April 30,2012

I've way too much fury
Welled up inside that cramped dark hole
The rooms are small and empty
Except for the crashing waves

My soft brown thighs burn for the man
The one over there, with the fake smile and lying eyes
That door to door salesman, knocking on Saturday mornings
Selling gadgets that nobody needs

The poor cheap bastard
He'll never know how I steal his goods
Sucking down his every breath while he stands there ogling
I smile, and then vomit the bile of my own disgust

Yesterday, I rode out on a freshly painted dinghy
Ready to let the fish have a go at my heart

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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Anomalies

Anomalies
Date: December 8,2011

Moonbeams light the walls of this castle
Washing pale the hallways of memory
Dust lay heavy on the bindings of yesterdays
Jackets…time worn and threadbare
Betray years of labored use

Many a seeker has roamed these halls
Searching for the chalice of desires
Words that bring meaning to the raging vein
Lullabies to define love’s true intent

Here…passion free falls from the lips of seduction
To be captured, bottled and thrown to sea
Words scribed, confined to the drying leaf
Secrets…whispered a thousand times over

From these shadows, a strange sentiment stirs

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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Go Home, Sweet Lover, Go Home To Your Wife

She is your mate, your match, your maker
Sewn up and drawn up by indelible ink
A contract worth keeping
She is a wink from across the room, a smile, a first kiss
She is savory on your tongue
A tootsie pop, cherry flavored, that lasts and lasts and lasts
Go home, sweet lover…go home to your wife
Grab hold those apron strings
And lay down on the bed of your making
Reach for her; trace the ivory pillars to her core
Drink milk from the cup of fine bone china,
Painted to ripe rose perfection and gilded by the master
She is your sterling silver; your mother's finest silk
While I am, my love, a notion that flits like moth to flame
Lashing out to seer, should you venture too close
I am the fickleness of fire, the evanescence of steam
But not her…she is solid…steadfast and cool as cucumber sandwiches
She is the epitome of completeness
Molded from the clay of order
Drilled and polished by the cloth of demand

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poem by Leria Hawkins
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