Consuming jealousy
I am jealous of the air you breathe,
of the soap that cleanses your body,
I am jealous of the rain that pours on
your face, and the sun that warms your
winter days, I am jealous of the way
you love the flowers and the vase they
wear, I am jealous of the sheets your
bed wears, that can touch every part
of your body, I am jealous of the mirror
that sees your face every morning day
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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A garden
Shall I rest my
beaten body,
my weary soul in a
garden not yet grown,
In the mountains
where no one goes
or in valleys
where I pray to the lord.
I have said my
wish for the
day I'm gone,
I have climb
the mountains where
the point is cold
and in search for a land
where peace may flow.
I gather pieces like a
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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Sorrows
You come as you always do, making your
way to my heart, telling me stories
about your dramatic life with the woman
you love; and I feeling pity for you.
You come to me and make me think you
are tired and exhausted of the nonstop
arguing, you come and rest your head against
my chest. I comfort you and caress
your back, and you tell me, 'it's been so long
sense I've being loved, ” Why then do
I still feel you don't need me, you leave
after the night has gone, I feel this emptiness
and grief in my heart, it feels like my heart is
shrinking. I give to you my deepest
passion my heart filled with romance, and I get
back an empty sound in my heart. Don't you
know that I love you? don't you know that I
want you? . I tell my friends about our love, and
they say our love wont pay the rent. I got nothing
only you to hold my hand, I got flowers in my
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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Mask
I can't live like this any longer, the
mask that covers my grief,
again and again, I can't stand
it anymore, you're like a shadow
in time, I yearn for the moment
you can give me- the short time
you offer me like a charity or
mendicant. You walk out again
after you satisfy you're crave;
then I’m here alone and I can't
get it out of my mind, that I tell
you nothing when your gone-
you are like non existent, there's
no trace of you, no calls nothing
to let me know I’m alive and in
your thought's. What do you think
of? How can you not feel me when
your gone? I keep covering my
emotions like a mask covering the
face of ugly. It's you in my head,
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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The walls
Life, here in the surroundings of my white walls,
The walls that watch me while I pray, while I sing,
While I dance and work in my little room, while
I cry, these white walls they know my life, only
they cry with me or sing or pray or dance, they give
my life the warm feelings of hands. The colors
of my works the fabrics, the pen that move my hands,
the architect of my bones, the father, the I AM, they
all life in me. Life, life is my big question! , life is the
I AM, and the I AM is life. I gather here in my room
all of my works, the good, the bad and the worsse,
they come alive with my help. Life in these white
walls, pink I rather say, ' I love pink' My sink full
of dishes waiting to be washed, the flowers on my
table growing roots, the doors and windows always
on guard, the lamps that never cease to give me light,
the sofa so exhausted of my exhausting body, the tree
near my window poking at me, then the cry of a puppy
I hear it all the time. My shop my objects; they dream
and have their own mind, they wear the colors of life,
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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Dormant
Love is dormant when you
Don't remember it,
I do not want to think of it,
It makes me weep,
It gives me grief,
When I am settle and comfortable,
When I don't
Caress it,
It does not wake,
It does not keep me up at nights
When I don't see the beauty in
People that are in love,
In the birds that sing hymns of
Happines when they join
In their nest to make love.
If I see this tenderness,
If I gaze at them,
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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What I feel
After every month, I know
you are near, I wait anxious
but for a moment I think of how
you take me for granted.
I feel like I’ve been violated,
I feel used like when
People use a cloth, and then they
throw it out, or like when a child
throws his toy after playing
with it for a while, because
Is old or it looks warn out.
I feel like you need me, but
only for a moment, not for the
time I deserve to be needed.
It's been five months, and I
feel like I’ve never been with you.
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Death
The journey of death, I think of dying as it were
a sleeping process which it brings our thoughts
the illusion of angel's, heaven, clouds and paradise,
we see ourselves in a utopia dream world,
that brings us peace and harmony. Death is a
sad word; a word that is continually present with
melancholy thoughts that haunts the mind. I always
dismiss it from my mind, but always comes back.
It's there always trying to torment me, maybe if death
wasn't so enigmatic and dreadful, our thoughts would
change. We wouldn't think about it at all. When I think
of the old age, is like thinking, death is near, it's the
nearest thing to old age. Death, death is like a cold
and lonely sigh, Death, it comes like thieves in the
night, it takes you and it wont give you a notice nor a
warning. A deep anguish takes over our feelings;
death is a sad word, An empty sensation and a huge
grief, that torture's the soul and mind. Death we can't
defeated, escape or make it null. A reminder each
day that time will eventually stop and become eternal.
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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A double edge sword
They say love is
a physician,
or a medicine for
the hearts pang.
But is not much
accurate when love
slugs you many times
and it never heals
the heart,
Much more then that it
shatters it every time.
For my heart is wounded
in numerous ways it is not
a proving thing,
Is like a myth a
fairy tale;
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Why Do You Remember Me?
Why do you remember me?
when your heart weeps,
when your heart breaks.
You do not know if
my heart yearns for love,
if it weeps from your abandoned,
do you not know that my heart belongs
to you? and you keep stabbing it with
knives and flavors of you,
do you not know how many months, years I
have spend in journeys searching for the flavor of
your lips, for the fragrance of your skin.
Do you not know my body is
dead till you bring it back with your touch? .
Do you not know?
Why do you remember me?
if you don't even yearn for my yearns,
if you don't even taste the essences of me,
when you touch me or kiss me. If you
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poem by Elenushka Toledo
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