Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
quote by Fran Lebowitz
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