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Ethel Merman

My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I'm a natural musician.

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I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

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As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand.

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I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures.

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I was lucky enough to have the songs in my first show written by George and Ira Gershwin. Then Cole Porter wrote five shows for me.

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I wasn't straining at the bit to become a movie star any more than I had plotted to get out of vaudeville and into Broadway musicals.

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I have plenty of invitations to go places, lots to do. If I'm not working, I go to have my hair taken care of and work at needlepoint.

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At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn't think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped-and I haven't had a cigarette since.

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I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they'd be up here on stage and I'd be out there watching them.

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I was born in my parents' bedroom on January 16. The World Almanac says it was 1909. I say it was 1912. But what difference does it make as long as I feel 33?

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