Sadness

Some days I am sad and I don't know why
I can see an overcast in a brightly blue sky
Sleeping in I still lack energy and motivation
My whole life appears to be one stagnation

Feeling pain without actually being hurt
I can't swallow my food and leave dessert
My eyes are burning with tears never cried
I miss everything I haven't done yet and hide

Surrounded by thick layers of a heavy haze
My thoughts are bleak and I'm lost in a maze
I can listen to music without hearing a sound
Breathing is difficult and happiness not found

Sitting by the window I can see life passing by
But I am only watching as being on standby
While bathing in quicksand I am slowly sinking
And dark clouds are preventing me from thinking

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Motherhood

You - born with my blood
On your body like a sacrifice
I looked at you breathing, taking
My air into your lungs as you
Occupied my space.

Like the reiteration of sirens
I hear your cries
As I learn to distinct the sounds
I find solitude in your
Wellbeing and your comfort

Taking ownership of your
Existence I give love, shelter
And protection freely and not
Because you need it but
Because you are mine

I am determined to overlook
Our similarities and celebrate

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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I Lost You To Money

You have walked great distances in a trance
Not noticing that life is more than a chance
You have laughter and love every day here
But you're not happy and chose to overhear

In every corner you are hunting for money
Missing all joy and the things that are funny
You can only smile about your bank account
Attaching to everything you value an amount

You are stressed but you just keep on going
Satisfaction equals numbers that are growing
You don't see that life is just passing you by
Failing to notice the sunshine and the blue sky

You look stunning in your shirt and tailored suit
But that's all you ever wear you can't dispute
I speak more often to your secretary than to you
You've no time and I'm just waiting in your queue

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Just For A Moment

I want to come home and find you sleeping
Slipping under the cover
Feeling the cool cotton sheets on my skin
I hear your breathing
Then you notice my presence
Just for a moment

Molding my body to your back
Carefully not to disturb you
Skin on skin - your skin on my skin
Your warmth is invading my senses
My hand trailing lightly along your arm
Just for a moment

Setting my heart by your heartbeat
You are the one I come home to
My fingers slightly brushing the hair on your thigh
Resting on your hip
I kiss your shoulder Good Night
Just for a moment

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Day Sounds

Silence in the city appears to be hard to find
The sounds we hear are often raw and unkind
There is noisy traffic that is violent and demanding
And the cries of the engines are loudly expanding
Hot mufflers expose of evaporating dark fumes
Rising up as smog like the towering stones of tombs

Traffic lights are humming to a buzzing steady tune
While street vendors offer goods in the afternoon
The sewers are hissing when releasing warm steam
Surrounded by laughing tourists eating ice cream
The cooing of pigeons is heard wherever you go
People in line are conversing while waiting for a show

Water is pounding against the concrete bank of the river
The brakes of trucks are grinding as they revolt and quiver
Then the whistle from a train echoes in the far distance
And the sirens of ambulances deliver firm persistence
The noise and motions communicate with us in the city
Leaving imprints in our minds of a life that is rather gritty

poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Wanting More

There are days when I can hardly exhale
Emotions keep getting away like a sliding scale
I want to bathe in darkness dressed in red
The moon will make it look as if I had bled

At times nothing is quite right or enough
I'm craving abundance and extraordinary stuff
I want to partake in an eclipse hiding the light
Or watch the blue illuminations of a polar night

After sunset I wish to swim in algal bloom
Get married to a lunar rainbow as my groom
I want to converse with the goddess Venus
Meet Albert Einstein because he is a great genius

I want to understand the mysteries of the Kabbalah
Speak every language and drink sweet Marsala
Dance with Dionysus and learn from the wise Athena
Voice my questions about the life of Mary Magdalena

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Three Some

Your vision in my head is a deceit
You're not the one that I wanted
The beginning of the affair was sweet
But what I feel now is being taunted

Nothing appears to be black and white
Just many nuances of grey
My thoughts are with you in spite
And with my emotions I play

Your intellect I truly care for
But it's him who I see in my dreams
Are you the one I will explore
Or him - the one fitting into your schemes

Your description of him torments my mind
He does not know of my attraction
Commanding my responses blind
I can only imagine his reaction

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Soulmate

In my universe I am no longer alone
You are here with me and well known
I have summoned you a long time ago
You give me love that's what I know

I feel stronger and all around protected
You make laughter easy and perfected
Looking in the mirror I see a different me
You own my heart and hold the master key

When I'm sad you hold me and smile
You let me be without cramping my style
You anticipate what I want to say each day
Chasing my nightmares and horrors away

I learned to trust you and opened my heart
You never disappointed me from the start
You have awaken the music I never heard
I feel secure and believe in your every word

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Lazy Afternoon

Listening to the haunting voice of Nina Simone
Celebrating time to myself as a temporary loan
Everything is quiet but thoughts are invading
Giving in to temptation reality is slowly fading

Crisp white cotton sheets feel cool on my skin
Soft fluffy clouds granting the remission of sin
Blinds filter the light and the room has a glow
Thoughts of the hierophant from a spread of Tarot

Floating on a dark stream in a great big seashell
Pulled by graceful swans wishing me farewell
I'm dreaming of a dark forest with huge oak trees
A place among moist tall grass puts me at ease

Memories of past times surface on a lazy afternoon
Leaning against the piano like resting in a saloon
Time seems to stand still drowning all evil and fears
While it gets darker outside and the moon appears

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Saturday Morning

There is a long road I never went down before
Where you greeted me with a familiar smile
I let your arms embrace me and keep me safe
Your eyes the color of blue waters meet mine
Like a lighthouse you guide me to your world
Within your wisdom you let me talk it all out
Until you fully understand why I hesitated

Your head imprinted in the pillow next to mine
The sound of the shower invading like a waterfall
I am contemplating to start this day with you right
Abandoning large arid regions of my soul as agreed
I will open my heart and hear all of your words
As the drops of water run slowly down your back
Undistracted I find a new solitude in your presence

Listening to your gentle words I think about love
As you reach for the coffee steaming in your cup
I am no longer waiting but conforming what you give
Tucking away the sorrows of long lost days in time

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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