I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

quote by Jay London
Added by Lucian Velea
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I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

quote by Jay London
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I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

quote by Jay London
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After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

quote by Jay London
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I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

quote by Jay London
Added by Lucian Velea
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