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Randy Johnson

United Negro College Fund

I'm going to start giving money to the United Negro College Fund.
It will be one of the greatest things that I've ever done.
I want black people to expand their minds and to be all they can be.
I want them to be bursting with knowledge as they accept their degrees.
They'll need a good education in this world they must face.
It's true that a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

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Instead of adoring Santa Claus

Instead of adoring Santa Claus, children should adore God and his son.
When it comes to who should be thanked, they are the ones.
If God hadn't sent his son down here, Christmas wouldn't even exist.
When children want to give thanks, God and Jesus shouldn't be dismissed.
Some children who read this poem may be miffed.
But on Christmas day, the should thank God and Jesus for their gifts.

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Symbol of love

When you and your wife had your baby, he became the ultimate symbol of love that you two share.
He represents a love that will stand the test of time and that shines brighter than a flare.
Some people think that wedding rings are the symbol of love between a man and his wife.
But wedding rings are just pieces of metal and they can't touch the symbol of love that comes from this tiny life.

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Racist people are going to vote for Obama

I've seen some racist people who are going to vote for Obama this November.
That is very unusual and it's something that I'll always remember.
You know that Obama is a great man when you see racist people who are going to vote for him.
Even though they're bigots, Obama means a lot to them.
You are most likely shocked and amazed by this.
I'm glad they're going to vote for him but I wish they weren't prejudice.

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Electrocuted By A Power Line

He was trying to do a good deed and he died.
A power line fell on a car and trapped the people inside.
He thought he could move the power line off the car and save them.
But when he touched it, it electrocuted him.
The people in the car survived.
But it's sad that that guy is no longer alive.
He wouldn't have tried to move the power line if he'd known.
If you ever see a power line that's down, leave it alone.

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He shot his daughter

(This is a true story)

One day a man was showing off his loaded gun to a friend.
It accidentally discharged and it brought his daughter's life to an end.
The bullet went through his hand and hit his baby daughter.
He was horrified when he learned that he shot her.
The man was being irresponsible when he was showing off his loaded gun.
Owning a firearm takes responsibility and if you're not responsible, you shouldn't own one.

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Jesus was the greatest hero

Jesus was the greatest hero who ever lived.
He had the power of resurrection and the power to forgive.
When Jesus was tortured to death, he died for our sins.
We wish he was still here so that he could resurrect our kin.

God gave his son the power to turn water into wine.
Jesus will always be a hero of yours and a hero of mine.
Jesus is awesome and that's a statement that I won't retract.
His compassion for people has no boundaries and that's a fact.

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Frog

(This is a fictional poem)

Last year I thought about buying a dog.
But I changed my mind and I got a frog.
When it comes to my love life, I'm in a slump.
The girls see me and my frog and I get dumped.

I have warts on my face, my hands and even on my pecker.
When I answer the door, I scare the hell out of the bill collectors.
They all run away because my big warts makes them very ill.
I may be a social outcast but at least I'm getting out of paying my bills.

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Martin Luther King Junior

Today is Martin Luther King Junior's birthday; a day that we celebrate.
Without his influence, Barack Obama probably wouldn't be the President of the United States.
He wanted black people to have equal rights.
He didn't cower in the face of this fight.
He knew that some people are consumed by hate.
Sadly one of those people took his life in 1968.
Martin Luther King Junior died for what he believed in.
People shouldn't be prejudice because of the color of skin.

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Pepe Le Pew raped my cat

(This fictional poem is based on the cartoon character.)

I called the police and reported a rape and they rushed to where I live at.
But they beat me with their sticks when I told them that the victim was a cat.
Somehow my cat got a long streak of paint on her fur.
When Pepe Le Pew finished, she sure as hell didn't pur.
I gave him a good kick and I got sprayed.
I cut off his balls, he has seen better days.
He treated my cat like a whore.
He won't rape cats anymore.

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