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Earl Wilson

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.

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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.

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This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

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Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

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Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.

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Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

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Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

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You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

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