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Yvette Smith

An Amnesiac Remembers

The amnesiac who had forgotten that his name was Albert

Woke up one day as George


The amnesiac who called himself George


Woke up one day and forgot his name was George despite being born

Albert, and called himself Mary


Mary Shelly after his great Aunt Ada who liked to be called mary on her days off

But the amnesiac forgot why he wanted to be called mary and quickly changed his name to harry

Then one day while looking through the telephone directory to find his own address he remembered that his name was Albert

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The power of nothing

in a world where nothing existed

(it was very quiet)

The nothing people had no lives

and therefore nothing to live for

The nothing preacher preached nothing

And so there was only nothing to believe in

There were no people fat or thin

So there was nothhing to diet for

Nothing slunk about or did he or she or it?

unseen not even a private detective could account for nothings movements

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THE MAN WHO POISONED HIMSELF BY MISTAKE [as told by his ghost]

There was a man alot like me

Who'd sit around and watch TV

He liked to drink and think alot

And bet, but never win alot

He was a curious winsome fella

Who always carried an umbrella

In sunshine and in showers

He'd stand under it for hours

Avoided walking under ladders

He waved at magpipes and

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Take Me To Your Leader

'Take me to your leader! '

The new recruit cried

She was forty stone and six feet high

She had just arrived on 'PLANET WORK'

She was met at the gate by a slob called BURK!

He was four foot five and incredibly shy

He gave an indolent half witted sigh,

And then he spoke, one word,

'Why? '

He was in the middle of demolishing a large meat pie

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Death of a Therapist

Sitting in a black chair

After a heavy drink


Hanging from a light fitting

Face down on the floor


Who killed the therapist?

Nobody is sure

That night she left the latch off

The back door

There was a twitchy curtain at number 24

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