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Sara Fielder

Herceptin Drip

One pin prick and it's drip, drip, drip
Try to live, that's the trick
Stick a needle through the porthole
and stainless steel makes us immortal?
But there's no cure, it's all a lie
With our first breath
we proceed to die
And talk, talk, talk 
won't change a thing
The posey's still grow round
in rings

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It's All About Me

Throughout the entire marriage she tried
handing his love back to him as if
it wasn't good enough.
But neither was the prior four husband's.
So when she calls me
at four: thirty in the morning
just to ask what time it is,
I try and remember the single most
important thing my father taught me.
Remain calm.

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Overflow

I don't need ritualistic liturgy
To know God lives inside of me
No holy water on my head
A rosary my fingers thread
He makes up every single ounce
Of my being
My heart overflows
And my voice wants to scream
Till I burst into tiny microscopic beams
Of light and fire and sparks
That gleam


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Patrick

Back then, when life was green among the curly ferns
And it was happy as the height of crystal night
My brother was my younger treasure
And we would daily play
by climbing trees and building forts with skinly knees
We were milky soft
Our eyes, they shined
And there was no such thing as watching time


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Vanilla Dreams

I played with your shadow today
We held hands and laughed gaily
just like we use to do
before the fire went out
and life became a bore
Your boyish smile invited me to share
vanilla dreams upon the horizon
until time folded over
blanketing you into
an invisible dream
that left me standing alone again
on the dark sidewalk
awaiting your return

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The List

Today, I told myself I'd returned to normal
Whatever that means
I concluded this by the fact
that I had actually completed
everything on my 'list'
without daydreaming
Those little checkmarks
a measurement of how far I've come
to forget you
After dinner,
I'll wash the dishes,
watch television,
read in bed,
and drift in dreams
Back to square one

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Buttercup

Emotions
Up and down
up and down
up and down
Like that homo with ocd turning off and on the light switch
10 times
then stepping backwards
and doing a pirouette in reverse before he
leaves the house
Today you were my buttercup
Yesterday
I wanted to saw off your head
and bury it in the backyard next to the hamster
I forgot to give water to
I want to saw you up my little buttercup

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Junk

I know I cant compare
To Maya Angelou or Baudelaire
You will not find me
On the shelf
With them or those that make you
Feel
You want to rent your clothes
With such despair and weep
With grief you cannot bear
I am replete
With simple diction tight and neat
My poems are junk
Someday be buried with me
Meek
Like Hallmark cards
Not fit for lounge rats in a bar


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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An Instrumental

There was honey on the thigh of her bow
crying in time with his piano steps,

dripping down their hands
into sticky dilated pools


of heavy hymn.


Melting bedroom walls
sucked seconds

off the face of time
like absinthe

Heated heaving breast breaths banged like
heads

[...] Read more

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Goodbye

Turn off the light
Let darkness come
Like some long dead blank being
Just drown yourself in all of it
Remembering not a thing
When we are young the hands of time
Move not and all is golden
When we look back
Our hearts the same
But body pained and broken
Just close your eyes
Before you die
As God puts out His hand
Goodbye green earth, Goodbye my lambs
It's time for my rebirth


Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

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