We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

quote by Milton Berle
Added by Lucian Velea
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

quote by Milton Berle
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

quote by Milton Berle
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I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

quote by Milton Berle
Added by Lucian Velea
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I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

quote by Milton Berle
Added by Lucian Velea
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I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

quote by Milton Berle
Added by Lucian Velea
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