Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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Some of the routines come back very easily. We do it off the top of our heads.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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Anne is very forgiving. She doesn't care about money, being rich, or clothes. We never argued about finances.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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It can make you sad to look at pictures from your youth. So there's a trick to it. The trick is not to look at the later pictures.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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We managed to hang in there. Today when people get married there's a tendency to run away when things get tough. There is a lot of strength in hanging together.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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I ask myself why I do it. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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For some people the revelation comes too late that life is best kept to the essentials. Some people are given their last rites and that person might say in their last breath, "I should have celebrated Festivus."
quote by Jerry Stiller
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In the ancient days when gods played their own games, and had their own celebrations, tossing lightning bolts between mountaintops, hurling great boulders — Festivus came out of that. It's a holiday that celebrates being alive at a time when it was hard to be alive. There was no Christ yet, no Yahweh, no Buddha. There were great ruins and raw nature. But there was a kindling spark of hope among men. They celebrated that great thunderous storms hadn't enveloped them in the past year, that landslides hadn't destroyed them. They made wishes that there crops would grow in the fields, that they'd have food the next year and the wild animals wouldn't attack and eat them. There's something pure about Festivus, something primal, raw in the hearts of humans.
quote by Jerry Stiller
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