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Henny Youngman

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

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You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

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What

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Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

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