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Groucho Marx

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Groucho Marx in A Day at the Races (1936)Report problemRelated quotes
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Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.

Groucho Marx in Duck Soup (1934)Report problemRelated quotes
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

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Before I speak, I have something important to say.

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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

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Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx