You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

quote by Dick Gregory
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Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.

quote by Dick Gregory
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I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

quote by Dick Gregory
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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

quote by Dick Gregory
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.

quote by Dick Gregory
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.

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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.

quote by Dick Gregory
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We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.

quote by Dick Gregory
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.

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Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.

quote by Dick Gregory
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