There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
quote by Chris Rock
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
quote by Chris Rock
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
quote by Chris Rock
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Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
quote by Chris Rock
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
quote by Chris Rock
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Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
quote by Chris Rock
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
quote by Chris Rock
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
quote by Chris Rock
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
quote by Chris Rock
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
quote by Chris Rock
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