A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

quote by Art Buchwald
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Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

quote by Art Buchwald
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Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

quote by Art Buchwald
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

quote by Art Buchwald
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People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.

quote by Art Buchwald
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So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.

quote by Art Buchwald
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Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, 'I am not a crook.' Jimmy Carter says, 'I have lusted after women in my heart.' President Reagan says, 'I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.'

quote by Art Buchwald
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