Played

You don't understand do you?
I know what you know to be true
Yet I still lay here in your frozen arms
Ignoring all these violent alarms

Is it just that you can't convince yourself?
Or is it something to do with your mental health
That you refuse to let me go even when you know I know
Don't you understand the reason this blood flows

I can do nothing more than lay here in ice
Trying to find a way to pay this increasing price
Because I know as I watch your eyes slowly close
I realise just why your blood has froze

It seems that I've been played and played so well
The poison was in the wrong cup and I couldn't tell
So the one who made me life a living hell has won
And you didn't even leave me a chance to run

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Cheated

Your vices, they grip too tight
Your windows shade out every little light
You make me feel valued and protected
You look at me with care, I'm respected
In the mechanical eyes of this world
But your wavering watch makes me uncomfortable
You are free while I am trapped and constricted
I need these privileges in order to survive
I just can't make the needs of two
Fit for the amusement of five
So give me the freedom to live
And make my own mistakes
And I'll give you your every desire
Be it the sun, the moon or lakes
But let it be known that I am no god
I have the world in my hands but a mortal heart
So ask for what you will but ask not for a soul
Because even a god so perfect can't make you whole
Nor can such power not mine or theirs
Grant you the wish of the feelings I hold close

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Fleeing To Be Free

You lead me so far away from my home
But with you I feel safe, no longer alone
I cant tell what makes me feel this way
Maybe it's the actions or just the words you say

I get lost along the way and you don't let me go
You watch me close, guiding me helping me heal so
I wont look back at what I have done because I know
I walked down some bad streets and I know it shows

These scars do more than mar my skin, so much more
They show others that I too have lost those I adore
I lost to their threats, destroyed my own escape
Didn't want to feel the fear until I knew it was too late

I was trapped in their web, withering away day after day
They saw me as nothing more than a slave, free pay
They searched for me but I know you covered our tracks
Not exactly legal but no one is a saint that's a fact

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Her Pain

All alone she cries
Tortured tears she hides
In the dark her hope dies
Where are her hearts hidden guides?

You see her but don’t notice
Her face hidden in her darkened hair
In her pocket she holds a sacred lotus
You laugh, you avoid her, but you don’t care

All that she knows is that flower
The only thing that had ever been given
In that flower she holds her life, her power
She thinks she does wrong, her actions unforgiven

She takes from the shop
But all she takes is a single fruit
She has no parents to tell her to stop
She lives in a house full of dispute

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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And There Goes My Mind

Can I ask you to leave please?
You're making it difficult to breathe
Not that I would tell you the reason
I believe my heart is committing treason

I think space would be much appreciated
I don't care what is ‘luck' and what is ‘fated'
But I would love a little warning next time
So I can try to read your thoughts and collect mine

Can I ask you to stop looking into my eyes?
I'm a bit worried that my heart is making ties
I don't mean to seem skittish and afraid
But you seem to make my walls slowly fade

It's not that I don't want to dance with you
It's just that this sort of feelings a bit new
The closer you get the worse my heart screams
And I'm a bit confused to what the feelings mean

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Writing

My words they no longer flow like a calm river
They rip, through, delicate flowers wither
Not in a long time have I wrote pure gold
One more worthless word and I'll explode

So I write these words to help express
That to me my writing can no longer impress
If the letters I write turn to heavy stone
Maybe I should try changing my tone

Even when words sing a merry tune
When the words hit me like a monsoon
I look back and scowl at scribbles and letters
And know there is a need for them to be better

So I try to write something funny, add humour
Rhythms with big cats, small rats, lions and pumas
But it all seems to lack that special spark
Something with a vicious bite and a gentle bark

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Trust

Trust, a delicate matter of me and you
A relationship that is so fresh, brand new
That we barely know the others birthday
But you said it didn't matter what others say

So I trust you to a point, I think, but not completely
I still need that little bit of freedom, space to flee
And right there is the problem that we now face
Because neither of us seem to be able to keep this pace

It's just that you go so fast and I can't help but feel fear
That once this phase is over, this won't last a year
I feel pathetic that I wish for a way out of this box
And I know Im paranoid when I feel like a hunted fox

Don't tell me that this is enough for you because I know
That even though I am scared your impatience shows
It's not that I'm new to this because that isn't true
It's just that before it wasn't caring but this is you

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Judged: Not Guilty

She doesn't understand the mistake she made
This time she took it too far and now she must fade
I told her again and again the game she plays is wrong
But I didn't realise that she was truly so far gone

She kept asking me why, why it was only one little lie
Her face, dear god, I couldn't take it anymore I couldn't not cry
So innocent and naïve; did she really not realise what she did
She looks so worried like I am going to hurt, innocent little kid

I can't let them take her; I hope that you can find her soul
After all I won't be there to help pay her soul's toll
I know many will see her as a monster but I hope she loves
I hope that one day she realises that im watching from above

A life for a life that is how this society works today
I couldn't help her, save her in any other way
I will take her place its all I can think of to do
I hope you forgive me because I entrust her to you

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Our Mistake

Time keeps passing by
History made in your eyes
You refuse to believe, why?
Yet you listen to all his lies

Soon you will fall
Your life will be torn
Your wings ripped, can no longer stand tall
Your distress is reborn

But still you refuse
To see the truth
This light you will lose
In ignorance and youth

You hide in your cage
From reality you flee
Why don’t you act your age
Open your eyes and you will see

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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Fool or Fallen?

You’re cute, cuddly but you’re in my space
I don’t have a partner but do you think you can take that place?
I must warn you though, I won’t easily back down
You’re my other half, the smile to my frown

You’re alone, catching my chance to speak
I really must look strange, just like a freak
But I’ve got to give this a try
I have to stop making stupid lies

Your smile, my god, angels could fall
The killer looks… when were you this tall?
The closer I get the faster my heart beats
It takes my everything to keep moving my feet

So close, your eyes shine so bright
Shining with an almost angelic light
I’m talkative, never stop, but with you I can’t say a word
My heart beats and flaps like a caged bird

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poem by Rebecca Pepper
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