2010/11/16 Hollow Reality
Early morning starting my nightmare document
my colleagues arrive, we sneer about life and the
types who are admired today - sports stars and
film stars and jerks of all kinds, we are laughing
enjoying the fun, June mentioned a woman
hating book clubs, being a member due
to peer pressure, people trying to fit in
Madame La Pompadour called, a sinus attack
due to paint fumes, she will stay at home where
the painting is done; last week she caught a bug
from her domestic and stayed home also - with the
virulent domestic - sneering helps us to laugh at the
wiles of the world without growing bitter or sour
June cannot understand women devouring Mills &
Boon and Ena Murray, never having succumbed
to fantasy and romance herself, June enjoys reality
just as it is, Hanlie manages without rainbows and
dreams, I am ice-cold inside without the warmth of
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2010/05/16 Outlawed
Psychologically preparing for returning to
work tomorrow, making lists, Production
Sheet of everything I did during the month
Month Sheet for everything we ALL did
during the month
Work-On-Hand, a list of work to be done by
me in the coming week, another list of work
to be done by the whole Section during the
coming week, sheet upon sheet, a list of
lists to be listed
By the time we are finished listing I will have
done so much soul-searching, seeking out
shortcomings in my conscience, I shall know
I am a criminal, guilty for being born, even more
guilty for living on
Guilty for breathing and dreaming of a better world
where freedom and joy, love and acceptance abound
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Anchor in foreverness
My ideal is learning to see and feel
perfection in everything and everyone,
my dream is love unconditional through
acceptance of everyone and everything
Without the boredom of world peace –
respect for the need to be different means
focusing on a personal path ignoring all not
wanted without judgment or fighting
While respecting those who need to reject
and judge to justify their own existence; secure
in the knowledge- life is lived on mental islands,
safe, untouchable by opposing ideas
I’m free to let them be without fear, without
forcing them to fear me – this is wrong with
all creeds; using teachings meant for quiet
contemplation only as a basis for
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Listen To The Ocean 01.08.2009
.................Nina and Frederick
Living my life to the accompaniment of
a song in my heart, I mostly remember
the refrain, hubby and the kids live in
perpetual discontent as I keep singing
the refrain playing in my head
Looking up lyrics on the Internet to learn
the words, maybe then I will be allowed
to sing my songs at home, my favourite
is ‘Listen to the Ocean’ by Nina and
Frederick
Turning like a broken gramophone in my
head, over and over, enchanting rhythm,
words divine, melody sublime: ‘Listen to
the ocean, echoes of a million seashells,
forever it's in motion
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Feelings: Checking Us, Whatever I Say
Checking Us
A white notice board against the wall with the
strict injunction write everything down, I don’t
want any surprises this year, every test, every
project, every event, every essay – thus keeping
us permanently focused on the things we detest
I prefer to forget the Expo of 18 June, cannot
help in a research project for natural science,
count me out, I refuse to try again – the only nice
thing is Nici drawing a flower writing LOVE YOU!
and the pictures she pasted - a leopard
An ostrich and a butterfly, I secretly mounted
a poster of fairies on the wall behind your back
as you play games on the PC, checking us to see
whether we are busy with homework and
business projects…
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From Tree To Web
A Quixotic Quest
“The tree of life is a record of how every species that
ever lived is related to all others back to the origin of life.”
For a period of 150 years
biology sought the holy grail
of the tree of life – today
the tree has become obsolete
through negative evidence
Discovery of DNA structure led to
molecular evolution studying inheritance
as contained in the history of DNA sequences
finding species swapped genetic material
with each other, hybridising - thus the tree-
theory degenerates into impenetrable
thickets of interrelatedness
Bacteria and archaea swap
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The Near-Accident 7.31.2008
Margaret Alice drove into a pole this morning,
didn’t realize the car was badly injured, then
as she tried to drive home, felt the full force
of the near-accident: The wheel alignment was
out, the right front wheel completely skew, the
car wouldn’t go, the car park attendant directed
to the wheel alignment garage where Manuel -
Manuel Lennon – checked the car –
It is busted madame, you have to drive it to another
garage, Margaret Alice hysterical – the kids are at
school, who will take care of them? – I cannot drive,
the car’s wheels are all skew, said Schalk Jordaan –
we’ll drive the car to the garage, Manuel in your
car, we’ll take you there; I called Caroline, she
went to fetch Nici and Tiaan, Celeste at the garage –
this will cost you madame; I smiled, yes it will,
But my kids are safe; here is Barbara and Lieb,
they’ll take me home; took the number and
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2010/06/30 Siren Song (Rev.)
Last night I read Dante’s masterpiece
Hell and Purgatory is precession based
discovered delightful scary pictures of him
passing robed skeletons on precipitous
mountain sides depicting travels in space
he describes the Circle of Hell as Mars’
red ring in the sky
Enjoyed piecemeal reading ‘Hamlet’s Mill’
online, as I read I delet to create a
single narrative line – the authors mention
too much detail; their contention that all
ancient fables, myths and legends were
based on astronomical observation
becomes a siren song leading me on
I used to abhor irrational behaviour
and cruel immorality of these stories’
murderous characters; finding a golden
thread manifest in texts is a wonderful
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2010/04/05 Respect (Rev.)
I never blame you for mistakes or nag you when you drink
if irrational feelings overwhelm you my defence is immediate
explaining your weird behaviour, making peace with your
possessive jealousy masquerading as expediency
Yet when I err and walk away you attack, blaming me,
point unsatisfactory behaviour, reciting a litany of sins I am
prone to commit, delineating in which ways I let you down,
nagging and grumbling while drinking red wine -
Your alcohol consumption might equate to my ingesting
allergenic foodstuffs, yet while you are always tacitly
exonerated you blame me as soon as you can get in a
salvo because I did not seem compliant, did not agree
Hang on - I confessed I ate bread today, you simply changed
tack and attacked anew: How DARE I mention the allergy, I
have no right to hide behind that effect – though you can use
any excuse for doing as you please
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Next Instalment PLEASE 5.9.2009
There are three kinds of love:
1 Ideal, ROMANTIC love ‘pure and chaste from afar’
the unreachable star; 2 RATIONAL love, sacrifice for
common-sense relationships, and 3 SPIRITUAL
love for all of life as sacred
ROMANTIC love - unattainable; a guiding lodestar, a
Quixotic ideal I won’t let go, my favourite authors
have my undying devotion, they keep the flame
of beauty and dreams alive
Many Romantic love poems are selfish and narcissistic
with emotions effervescent, only a special few
delineate soul-mates’ eternal love,
I adore these, but it is
RATIONAL, common-sense love which makes the
world go round – sharing religion, world-view and
ethical conviction; sacrificing self to group,
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