On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

quote by Woody Allen
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

quote by Woody Allen
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In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

quote by Woody Allen
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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

quote by Woody Allen
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I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

quote by Woody Allen
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

quote by Woody Allen
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

quote by Woody Allen
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

quote by Woody Allen
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

quote by Woody Allen
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

quote by Woody Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
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