He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

quote by Woody Allen
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

quote by Woody Allen
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Army: What you join to see the world, meet interesting people – and kill them.

Woody Allen in The Cynic’s Dictionary
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We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.

quote by Woody Allen
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

quote by Woody Allen
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size

quote by Woody Allen
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

quote by Woody Allen
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Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.

Woody Allen in Without Feathers
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

quote by Woody Allen
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

quote by Woody Allen
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