Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

quote by Woody Allen
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I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

quote by Woody Allen
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

quote by Woody Allen
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Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

quote by Woody Allen
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

quote by Woody Allen
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

quote by Woody Allen
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

quote by Woody Allen
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

quote by Woody Allen
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

quote by Woody Allen
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

quote by Woody Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
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