Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

quote by Woody Allen
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

quote by Woody Allen
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

quote by Woody Allen
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Eternity is very long, especially towards the end.

quote by Woody Allen
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How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

quote by Woody Allen
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

quote by Woody Allen
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

quote by Woody Allen
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

quote by Woody Allen
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

quote by Woody Allen
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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

quote by Woody Allen
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