Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

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If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

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About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

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The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.

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When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

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I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

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Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

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Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

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I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.

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