I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

quote by Todd Barry
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I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

quote by Todd Barry
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I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

quote by Todd Barry
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It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.

quote by Todd Barry
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I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

quote by Todd Barry
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I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show.

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I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film.

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I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.

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I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend.

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If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.

quote by Todd Barry
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