I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put under coasters.

quote by Steven Wright
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

quote by Steven Wright
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

quote by Steven Wright
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

quote by Steven Wright
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Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

quote by Steven Wright
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

quote by Steven Wright
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

quote by Steven Wright
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I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

quote by Steven Wright
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I saw a bank that said ""24 Hour Banking,"" but I don't have that much time.

quote by Steven Wright
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I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

quote by Steven Wright
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